


Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes make perfect Christmas Presents

by Ladderofyears



Series: Shipmas 2018 [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Christmas, Gen, Grief/Mourning, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 16:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladderofyears/pseuds/Ladderofyears
Summary: It's the most wonderful time of the year! Take a sneaky look at the inner workings of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and learn about some of the fabulous products they sell.But is it the most wonderful time of year for George?





	Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes make perfect Christmas Presents

#### Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes make prefect Christmas Presents! Potions, charms and supplements!

#### Ladies, gentlemen, girls and boys! If you’ve got the idea, then we’ve got the toys!

#### We’ve got what you need, don’t you go elsewhere! You could even choose our fabulous knitwear!

#### Spending a Knut, a Galleon or Sickle? Anything we sell will make them tickle!

***

_Welcome! And a very Happy Christmas to you too! Thank you for your custom today! No, I assure you there is nowhere else in the whole Wizarding world with a range of products like you’ll see before you today. Best shop in Diagon for presents, decorations and toys. I promise, you’ll see nothing else like it today. Christmas isn’t Christmas without a Weasleys’ Wizard Wheeze. We’ve had the Saviour in here, just yesterday. Brought three of these toy owls! Three!_

_We carry a guarantee: official toy suppliers to the Chosen One himself. But I can tell from the look on your face that you’re a Witch of taste, a consumer of quality. You’ll be wanting the Paradise Potion, lady of quality like yourself. Two drops of this in your night-time brew, and you’ll be spending a night with Mr. Darcy himself. Perhaps your tastes run a touch more eclectic?_

_We can offer Salazar Slytherin, Romeo Montague, or even the generous attentions of Merlin himself? The choice is yours. Satisfaction is entirely guaranteed, and if you’re not back for another bottle I’ll eat a box of puking pastilles myself._

***

Another Christmas without you. Of course, at the shop its our busiest time. We’ve got to be be busy, got to be fun. Everything there needs to be loud, full of banter and noise. It wouldn’t be Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes otherwise.

But you know better, don’t you Fred? You know the emptiness, the silence, when they've all left for the day. That's when its hardest for me, that’s when I miss you the most. That was when we designed our products, made our grand plans, had our biggest laughs. 

I remember how they took the micky at school, the other kids. Gred and Forge Weasley, charity cases, can’t tell one from the other. But I didn’t care, ‘cause I was the lucky one. Five brothers but only one twin. Guaranteed best friend. Partner in crime. 

A life without each other was inconceivable, but the biggest joke in the joke shop was me. Here all alone, and the only time I can see you is in the mirror. 

***

_And what about you, good sir? Oh yes, I agree, Christmas does seem to come earlier each year. Well we are honoured, a Wizard of distinction like yourself shopping here! Why, yes, I knew I’d seen your face in the Prophet._

_Something big in the Ministry? Don’t worry, discretion is my middle name. Sister-in-law is the Minister, so the secrets I could tell… But enough of that! A fine gentleman like yourself knows a high calibre product, and here at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes we aim to please. You’ll be wanting these True-Gaze Glasses. Wire framed, indistinguishable from any you’d buy elsewhere._

_But these have a secret! All those intimidating characters; your bosses, your overbearing mother-in-law, the wife’s better-looking ex-boyfriend? All rendered instantly ridiculous! You’ll wonder how you ever went to work without them. Those barbed comments over Christmas dinner? You’ll laugh rather than cry._

_You’ll be Minister yourself within a few years, my friend, and it’ll be down to your True-Gaze Glasses. Send your colleagues to George Weasley and they can have a five Sickle discount!_

***

My biggest secret is that life without you gets harder, rather than easier. Every year is weddings, babies and change. Grand-kids for mum to spoil, and Weasley’s buying their first Hogwarts uniform. And all the time you’re slipping away from them all, further and further back where I can’t follow. 

And every new line on my face is an insult, a horror, because its time with us, with me, that you were denied. And I look at Angelina, Fred Jr. and Roxy, and I love them, I truly do, but you’d have got married, been a dad too. 

We never got to share that, like we shared everything else. And its Christmas again, so jokey old George needs to get into character once more. I need to be both of us, loud and brash for the rest of the world, otherwise mum’s tears are too much to bear. 

Sometimes when I’m alone, I even wear your sweater with the big red ‘F’. Pretend we’ve swapped lives just like old times. 

***

_But what about the teenager, I hear you ask? Free from Hogwarts and ready to party? Christmas comes but once a year, but the parents don’t agree? Concealment Concoction is just the ticket, young man!_

_Just add it to your Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey, your Dragon Barrel Brandy or your Daisyroot Draught, and instant concealment will result. Even an Auror would be fooled into believing you were drinking Pumpkin Juice. Now, now Sir! I’m certainly not one to condone drinking before you’re of age. This is a joke product only, and if a person chooses to misuse it Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes cannot be held responsible!_

_I can assure you, Sir, that my brothers and I were the models of decorum while at school! Well. Perhaps a True-Loves Quill might make a better present. Just give it to the object of your affection, and poetry of such beauty and grace will result. You’ll never be short of a date for the Ball, not with this little beauty._

_Send all your friends to Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, we’re so much better than Madam Malkin for all your Hogwarts wants and needs!_

***

Fred Jnr. asked about you last night. Wanted to know what you were like. Were you funny? Naughty? He loves the stories, the tales of fireworks, practical jokes and mischief. 

Of course mum and dad were full of how alike we were, two sides of the same Sickle, never one without the other. You know that mum and dad have never touched our room? Its still the same, old Quidditch posters and bits of kit collecting dust. I never slept there again, couldn’t bear it. 

But they never knew the reality, did they? How you were the braver one, the leader. The one with all the ideas. We played our roles with finesse, finishing each others sentences, and dressing so alike, that it became everyone’s truth. They’ve still got me, the consolation prize. 

I think that’s why Fred Jnr. always wants the stories. The legend is better than the reality we were all left with. 

***

_And the little Witches and Wizards? Here at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes we don’t believe in waiting for school to get your wands. The wand chooses the Wizard? Well, this Christmas every child in the Wizarding World will choose the W-Model Junior Wand._

_Packed with just enough magic for a nice little prank, you could disappear all the socks from mum’s drawer, or Engorgio your Jelly Slugs. And don’t you worry, mums and dads. Limits are pre-set, so your little darlings can’t get up to anything too naughty, and they won’t work beyond the wards of your house._

_Santa will be delivering plenty of these come Christmas Day, so don’t delay, buy yours today! I am so confident in this product that I’m putting on a special offer, today only._

_If your little Wizards don’t love the W-Model, bring it back and you can have two of my speciality Pygmy Puffs. These sing all over Christmas; not just on Boxing Day!_

***

Christmas Day tomorrow, Fred. Another big Weasley celebration with mum’s cake and dad drinking just a bit too much again. We’ve done well at the shop, made lots of Galleons. 

Some good products this year. Ron thinks we might even be able to take someone new on in the new year. I don’t know. 

I promise you, tomorrow, when we’re all sat together, I’ll miss you. You’ll have a chair where nobody will sit, and mum will have made you a jumper that you’ll never wear. When we’re pulling Cribbage’s Wizarding Crackers and telling bad jokes, I promise they’ll be nobody there who could tell them quite as badly as you. 

You’ll see me smiling, and laughing and kissing my wife under the mistletoe, because it’s Christmas Day. But I promise you, not only tomorrow, but everyday. I’ll miss you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Christmas is a really hard time for so many people, especially those who have people that they miss. I hope you are all surrounded by lots of love and care this year xxxx


End file.
